People Pleasing

I suffer from People Pleasing; I want to be liked by everyone. Today, I realized a big a lesson in life. I will not be defined by others. I went to go see Stedman Graham a few weeks ago or a month ago. I have thought of his profound words about allowing others to define people.

I remember through my childhood being told that I was worthless, my foster parents told me the same and society told me the same. For some bizarre reason, I have allowed those voices to guide my direction or lack of direction.

I had another blog before this one and I rarely posted because I was so darn busy trying to please everyone else but myself. I put my political party before myself, I put all the boards I sit on before myself, all in hope to change the world and hopefully make it a better place for people like myself. I put on one post the party didn’t like and I get the cold shoulder. These entire people pleasing have made me sick to my stomach. It is time to let go.

I allowed all those external energies control me. Today I am putting a stop to it all. I will give only what I can give, no more, no less. I still believe that I need too make changes in the world, to the extent that I will go is now going to be limited.

I have given so much of myself that I have begun to resent what I stand for. My progressive values will stay intact but I am only donating limited hours of my time to the political party that I support and I will be devoting more time to my husband and my true friends.

Who cares about how unimportant some may think I am, my husband doesn’t, I know I am not, and neither do my true friends. All those people that I have been kissing up to, please you are no more important than I.